A few years ago I read John Bunyan's autobiography "Grace abounding to the chief of sinners" It was one of the hardest books to get through, it took me forever but it was so worth it.
The book is more of a spiritual autobiography and is very intimate. His struggles are felt deeply as you read and I think that's why I had a hard time getting through it. It's hard to read someone elses struggles especially when they hit home.
When you truly seek God, life is not "your best life now" its a constant struggle against the enemy, who not only wants to keep you separated from God, but constantly accuses you and tries to convince you that what you've done is not forgivable. But the truth is when you put your trust in God He will never leave you or forsake you.
After years of struggle John Bunyan went on to be a great pastor and later thrown into prison for preaching the gospel. It's there that he wrote Pilgrim's Progress one of the most beloved christian books of all time.